Worst Reality TV Moments
Reality Poetry
Amateur poets qualify for one of the five worst reality TV moments
We know the warning signs: The man leans forward earnestly, his eyes narrowed with a soulful pain that says, ”I’m about to reveal the real me”…and we frantically grab for the remote, wailing ”Noooo! He’s going to recite his own poetry!” From the painful freestyling of ”The Real World: Boston”’s Jason to the pretentious doggerel of ”Love Cruise”’s tattooed Anthony to the Hallmark-cardish verse of ”The Bachelorette”’s Ryan, these woeful attempts at simulating sensitivity ignore one simple fact: Hitting on women in a reality show is an inherently cheesy act, so trying to act deep while doing so is like putting a monocle on a Hooters girl.
Outwit, Outlast, Outcasts
”Survivor: Pearl Islands” had one of the five worst reality TV moments
Whoever coined the phrase ”losers never prosper” didn’t catch ”Survivor: Pearl Islands,” when executive producer Mark Burnett decided to reward six Outcasts with the chance to return to the game. It’s bad enough that we had to endure eight more weeks of Lill’s annoying Boy Scout uniform — that little twist (justified by Burnett as having something to do with the show’s pirate theme) allowed Lill to make it to the finals. And it almost looked like the popular Scout leader would win the million bucks, until the jury chose Sandra in a six-to-one vote. Letting losers like Lill return — how did she ”outlast” the competition if she was dropped in week 3? — did more to hurt the show’s integrity than heighten its popularity.
Hung’s Out To Dry
”American Idol 3” had one of the five worst reality TV moments
He bangs. He bangs. And when all else fails, William Hung bangs some more. Sure, the tone-deaf Berkeley geek’s ear-bleeding vocals were good for a chuckle during ”American Idol 3” auditions. But for the love of La Toya, Hung-a-mania should have ended there — without the subsequent appearance in an ”Idol” filler special and certainly without a 15-track debut album (with a bonus DVD, natch), released by KOCH Records. Please, America, let’s bring his 15 minutes of fame-public humiliation to an end.
Knifeplay on ”Big Brother 2”
”Big Brother 2” had one of the five worst reality TV moments
Early on in ”BB”’s second run in 2001, CBS evicted Justin Sebik of Bayonne, N.J., for holding a kitchen knife to the throat of fellow contestant Krista Stegall. The bartender insists he never meant to harm Stegall, who had willingly engaged in a little drinking and spit swapping with Sebik before and after he wielded the knife. As Sebik cluelessly explained to host Julie Chen, ”If she felt threatened, I don’t think she would have said, ‘Go for it,’ laughed, and kissed me.”
Lorenzo’s Pointless Laser
”Are You Hot?” had one of the five worst reality TV moments
With one zap of Lorenzo Lamas’ laser pointer on ”Are You Hot?,” so many problems became so painfully clear — and no, we’re not referring to a contestant’s allegedly imperfect thighs or undersize breasts. The C-lister’s little green dot became the icon for a pointless fleshfest of a show that, in turn, exemplified an era that will heretofore be known as ABC’s ”Reality Washout of the 2003 Midseason.” The lineup — ”All American Girl,” ”The Family,” and ”Celebrity Mole: Hawaii” — deftly embodied everything wrong with the genre.
